sourabh's blog

notes, lessons, and observations on books, cinema, and the human condition

To be

I hear people saying that they don’t get time to do what they really want. They narrate their whole schedules. Their work timings, dinner time, time with family but none for the activity. I want to snatch their phone when they look at it while talking to me. Not to answer their rudeness but to show them the cumulation of in-between minutes into several hours that they spend on entertainment.

I am not just rapping on knuckles for wasting time on the internet. I am raising a rhetorical question whether that much of entertainment is needed.

I, at least, don’t spend much time working while being in the office, or being present with my family while being physically with them, or even being entertained while scrolling the newsfeed. I am mildly amused; mildly present; and my warmth is lukewarm at home. I am nowhere. Rather somewhere in between.

In-between is the state I want to get rid of. I want to be in heaven, but can also be in hell, just not nowhere.

To get started, to whet my appetite, I can start with the time I have when I need a break. Maybe right in the office. I can read a couple of passages and can consider the day accomplished. Do ten squats while showering. Or maybe climb three flights of stairs. I can start that way and build on it in the small pockets of time, so when I have time, I can have the push of ongoing motion to continue. Sips and gulps.