How do I wake up every day and rush my way through despite heat, traffic, and roads rife with potholes in a half-asleep state only to reach a place where I idle?
I reach and plug my laptop in, switch on the AC, and get a coffee.
Then, I stare at the blank screen.
I browse websites, worry about AI taking my job, watch the stock market crash, gloat myself on not being invested, and worry some more about how I will get my next job – while the real work, a must to-do, keeps eyeing me — a bleak, disappointed creature – eh?
I end up beating myself up enough by lunch that I stop being a healthy-minded person by 4 p.m. You talk to me at the risk of being belittled, insulted, or fired. Self-loathing ensues until late evening. I head home, overeat, masturbate, sleep.
I slouch in bed like a runt. No happy ending for you, mouse.